Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Don't Read

Well, Its Tuesday. I hope everyone got through their Monday pretty well with as much ease as possible.

The reason I ask people not to read this one is because I feel a little vulnerable. Almost like a failure, without actually failing.

Today, I go to see the Orthopedic Specialist about my knees....

I have gotten opinions before, anywhere from a pulled muscle to two torn meniscus. I guess today we will finally find out.

I have worked so hard to this point to be in top physical shape, and I think it may have finally bit me in the ass. I feel broken and defeated. My body doesn't want to cooperate with what I want to accomplish.

I should be in control of my body, not the other way around. My earlier days in the Army, everyone always told me how bad it was to be on profile. Now, my higher ups tell me its OK, I can get through this. Its OK to get hurt and take care of myself. I don't feel like it. I want to be superman, and my legs won't let me. I don't feel sorry for myself, but I want to get better.

I want to get up in the morning and be able to move. I want to be able to run without being hindered by whats going to pop, crack, or pull. There are goals I have that may have to end because a part of my body wants to be lame. I will never score a 300 on a PT test if its as bad as I fear. I will never be able to take certain classes.

But on the flip side, I need to feel better. Its been far to long being in pain to keep this up.

I hope everyone has a great day. Stay tuned for tomorrow, where I will let everyone know how things go.

 

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