Woo Hoo

Woo Hoo!!!!! Happy Friday All!!! Well, you have had a good amount of time to figure out your long extended weekend plans, so what are they?

Well, Here are my weekend plans. Tentatively as always Lol :

Friday- Work, Then going to the store, grabbing a six pack of Shock Top, some Little Caesars pizza, and then its draft time! Fantasy Football Draft that is. Will this be the year that I take it all? or will it be another mediocre season? Who knows. All I know is I have fun dong it, and still have no idea who I am taking this year in the draft... Guess we will find out at 8pm.

Saturday- Heading up to Reading, Pa with a friend to see my family. Mom and Dad are coming up from Myrtle Beach for the weekend. Probably have a BBQ or something for dinner. Saturday Night, LSU vs TCU. Woo Hoo LETS GEAUX LSU!!!

Sunday- Heading to Philadelphia for the day. Definitely going to head to the museums, the Liberty Bell, and get a cheese steak somewhere! other than that, I am up for anything!!!

Well, That's all I have for today! I hope everyone has a great weekend, and I will talk at you all again Tuesday!!!

Sleep

Happy Thursday!!!

Getting closer to my weekend away, just have to get through work today and tomorrow, and PT tonight. I'm not leaving until Saturday morning, because I have my fantasy football draft Friday night. That should be interesting. Anyone have any suggestions on who I should pick?

I really don't have too much for today. I'm still recovering from Yings and Wings last night. Hempen Hill BBQ has some awesome smoked wings, and for 50 cents a wing, you really can't beat the price!

Chicken FriedBy Zac Brown Band

You know I like my chicken fried
And cold beer on a Friday night
A pair of jeans that fit just right
And the radio on

Well I was raised up beneath the shade of a Georgia Pine
And that's home you know
Sweet tea, pecan pie, and homemade wine
Where the peaches grow
And my house it's not much to talk about
But it's filled with love that's grown in southern ground

And a little bit of chicken fried
Cold beer on a Friday night
A pair of jeans that fit just right
And the radio on
I love to see the sun rise
See the love in my woman's eyes
Feel the touch of a precious child
And know a mother's love

It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most
Not where you live, what you drive or the price tag on your clothes
There's no dollar sign on a peace of mind, this I've come to know
So if you agree, have a drink with me,
Raise you glasses for a toast

To a little bit of chicken fried
And cold beer on a Friday night
A pair of jeans that fit just right
And the radio on
I love to see the sun rise
See the love in my woman's eyes
Feel the touch of a precious child
And know a mother's love

I thank god for my life
And for the stars and stripes
May freedom forever fly, let it ring.
Salute the ones who died
The ones that give their lives
So we don't have to sacrifice
All the things we love

Like our chicken fried
And cold beer on a Friday night
A pair of jeans that fit just right
And the radio on
I love to see the sun rise
See the love in my woman's eyes
Feel the touch of a precious child
And know a mother's love

Get a little chicken fried
And cold beer on a Friday night
A pair of jeans that fit just right
And the radio on
I love to see the sun rise
See the love in my woman's eyes
Feel the touch of a precious child
And know a mother's love

Can it be done again?

Well, Happy Hump Day All!!! We are getting ever so much closer to the weekend, and what a great weekend it is going to be! Why you ask? Well its not just because I get to hang out in Pennsylvania with friends and Family, but there is something almost as great going on...

COLLEGE FOOTBALL!!!!!!!

Whoop Whoop!!!!

Another year of people going head to head, because everyone always thinks their school is the best, but in the end, only one team wins the National Championship. The following is my picks for who will make it to which bowl game... The only league championship game I will pick is the SEC. Only because they are my favorite.... So here we go:

SEC Championship game: LSU defeats South Carolina

Rose Bowl: Stanford defeats Michigan

Fiesta Bowl: Oklahoma defeats Louisville

Orange Bowl: Clemson defeats Boise State

Sugar Bowl: Alabama defeats Notre Dame

BCS Championship Game: LSU defeats Ohio State

Well, there it is..... I didn't go and read all of the rules for who can make what game, just sort of winged it... Of course I'm going to be partial to LSU, I am every year!!!

I hope everyone has a great day!!!

4/9

 

I've got a Semi!!!

Yup, Happy Tuesday All! Yes you read the title correctly! I've got a semi vacation coming up! Saturday till Monday I will be up hanging out with my family, and spending a day in Philadelphia. I can't wait, I need a few days away... Maybe eventually I'll get a whole week away lol...

Well, My IPod took a dump on me the other day. I kept trying to download to it, and it won't let me do anything. Currently I am borrowing my roommates, so that the gym and work go a little bit smoother. I can do things without music, don't get me wrong, but it is just much more enjoyable with it!

I am still deciding which way I want to go in life. I have however narrowed it down to just a few options. Stay tuned for the follow-up!

Well, I hope every one has an awesome day! I know I will! Physical training tonight, then dinner, then some sleep. Can't beat it!!!

 

3/9

Wedding Bells

Happy Monday All! If you are reading this you have made it through yet another weekend! It was a fairly easy weekend, and I finally got to half way relax on Sunday. Well, here it is, my weekend:

Friday- Left work early because I wasn't feeling well. Went home, and slept until about 3pm. Laid there until it was time to head to the Moose for the wedding rehearsal. As soon as that was over, I was back home and in my bed.

Saturday- Woke up early to clean the car and truck out. Relaxed and hung out with the roommate and his daughter until it was time to head to Frederick and meat the Sucker, I meant the groom. On my way there I stopped to pick up a couple of 6 packs of beer, just to take the edge off. I mean seriously, what could be more nerve racking then realizing you are going to be with the same woman for the rest of your life... After a few beers, We got ready then headed over to the Moose for the wedding. Had a few more beers before the wedding (Don't worry, I made sure he could still walk). Then it was time for all of the normal funeral, I meant wedding stuff... Ceremony, meet and great, dinner, more beer, dancing, cake, etc.... Even through in some beer pong! All-in-all, I believe it was a successful night.

Sunday- Woke up early to clean. Then it was off to return the tuxes and go to Walmart to pick up a few things. After all that good stuff, I just sat home and relaxed...

Well, that was my weekend! I hope everyone had a great one! Next weekend should be even better!

Happy, Happy Friday!

Well, Here it is everyone! Another weekend is here upon us! HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

My weekend is going to be fairly busy, so here it is:

Friday- Work, then off to the Moose Lodge for wedding set-up and rehearsal.

Saturday- Gym, Haircut, go pick up the Groom, Wedding, bring Bride and Groom back to the Hotel, Sleep

Sunday- Well, one of 2 things is going to happen on Sunday, Either I am relaxing, or I am going to pick up a friend from NJ. I should know more about that today.

Well, that's all for today! Thank you everyone who read yesterdays post, and I hope you will contribute to a great cause!

 

Fight for Something, or Die for Nothing

Happy Thursday All! We are one step closer to yet another weekend. Today, I am handing the blog over to someone else for the day. Someone who is very close to me, and someone who will always be my number one woman, no matter what I put her through. My Mother. She is asking for donations for a great cause, but I will let her tell you more in her own words. Here it is:

"I am currently raising money to participate in the Susan G. Komen day walk against breast cancer in 2013. It is my chance to challenge myself and also help find a cure. I have been touched by this disease many times in my life. Two of my sisters were diagnosed with breast cancer in their early forties. My mother, grandmother, and niece had it as well. Unfortunately, my sister Ellen and my niece Jill have lost their courageous battle with this disease. Its time to eliminate this killer and with your help we can all take the steps to find a cure.

 

Currently my goal is $5000, to walk in the October 25-27, 2013 walk in Tampa, Florida. And I am looking for your support.

 

TO help by donating directly to my fundraising account, please visit the website for the walk, www.the3day.org, click the "Donate" tab, then search for participant "Virginia Hassell". The website will guide you easily through the process.

 

Thank You and may god bless."

 

 

Annnnddddd I'm back.... Everyone, go and help my Mother. This could be anyone in your family. We need to help find a cure for this horrible, horrible disease. Any amount of money will help greatly!!

 

Thank you all. Just remember, The good you do today, may help save a life tomorrow.

 

Peace, love, and happiness!!! Have a great day!

 

5/0

 

Stop and take a whiff

Happy Hump Day All! Its another day and we are half way through yet another week! I hope people are already planning their awesome weekends!

Every morning, when I leave the house to come to work, I take a big whiff of what the air has to give me. Most of the time, I smell Diesel or gasoline, because I tend to start my vehicle before I actually leave for work. That's OK though, because ever breath I take, I know that I am alive. Besides, I love the smell of diesel in the morning, it smells like freedom! Where am I going with all of this you may ask? Be happy with what you have, and everything else will come to you. I am happy for my family, my friends, my job (happy to have it, not exactly happy being here lol), and just over-all happy with most of the situations I surround myself with. Make the best of the life you are given, and good things will come.

Well, that all being said, I hope everyone has a great day! I know I will!

"Simple Man"
by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Mama told me when I was young
Come sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely to what I say.
And if you do this
It will help you some sunny day.
Take your time... Don't live too fast,
Troubles will come and they will pass.
Go find a woman and you'll find love,
And don't forget son,
There is someone up above.

[Chorus:]
And be a simple kind of man.
Be something you love and understand.
Be a simple kind of man.
Won't you do this for me son,
If you can?

Forget your lust for the rich man's gold
All that you need is in your soul,
And you can do this if you try.
All that I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.

[Chorus]

Boy, don't you worry.
You'll find yourself.
Follow you heart,
and nothing else.
You can do this,
if you try.
All that I want for you my son,
is to be satisfied.

[Chorus]

 

4/0

Hmmmm

Happy Tuesday....

Had a bad day yesterday, and guess what, my loyal readers will just have to put up with me telling you about it.

Started off with it being Monday. OK, so that part was expected, it comes once a week, and we just have to deal with it. Well, about half was through the day, I finally get the board results for promotion in the Army.... Guess who's not getting promoted.... This guy.... No reason given yet. Then I leave at 2pm because I have a 4:15 Dr's appt. Get home, get changed, and sit down for a minute, since I still have 30 minutes to get there. Well, I fell asleep on the couch. Woke up with 15 minutes to get there. I walked in with 1 minute to spare. Well, then I get in to see the Dr, and I have 2 choices for the soreness in my knee.

Choice #1: We try a new Anti-inflammatory, because the previous 3 haven't worked.

Choice #2: I get a steroid/anti-inflammatory shot in my knee

Well, I decided to take the shot since its faster, and the other just doesn't seem to be working. Have you ever gotten a shot right into a surgically repaired knee? Yea, its not the greatest feeling in the world. Oh well, got to get better.

So after all of the crap I went through, I went back onto weight watchers last night. I plan on getting down to 170lbs. I will do this.

After all is said and done, I am still determined to get everything that I want in life. All I have to do is focus. I have been a little off lately, and I need to stop drinking again, not permanently, but until I meet all of my goals. I did it once, why not do it again!

Well, that's all for today! I hope everyone has a great day!

3/0

Weekend!

Happy, Happy Monday All! Well, as happy as its gonna be at least. You woke up, so be grateful! lol

My weekend was a little wild, lots of partying, lots of beer, some drama, and new inventions...

So here it is:

Friday- Got home and ate a little dinner. Then it was off to the Moose Lodge for the bachelor party. It was a good time. Good to see a lot of old friends. I played a little poker, finished second. Then we decided that the Bachelor was drunk enough, so it was time to head back to my house. That was interesting trying to get his ass back into my house! Then it was time for bed.

Saturday- Up bright and early. Drove down to West Virginia to a buddies house, because we had a few projects to work on. Goal number 1 was to fix the Mustang. All that needed to happen was that the Windshield wiper motor needed to be changed out. Once that was done, and we replaced the cabin air filter, and a few other things, we went to a birthday party. Finished, went to Lowes to get some plywood for the Octopong table we were building. Well, to my surprise, they sell Mossy Oak coated plywood. We get back, finish up the table, then test it out. Works like a dream!!!

Sunday- Laundry, Cleaning, and Movie day. Didn't really get much done, except recovering!

Well, I hope everyone had a great weekend! I know mine was!

Bachelor Party Night!!!

Happy Friday All!!!!

Well, The time has come to say goodbye to a dear friend of mine. A brother for so many years. Someone who has seen the good times, the bad times, and the times where we really can't explain. You will be missed.... I do however, wish you the best of luck in your disappearance from civilization (IE-Marriage)... LMAO

OK, That all being said and done. Here's whats happening this weekend!

Friday- Bachelor party.... So I was told no strip clubs, LAME... Whats a bachelor party without some random teenage heroin addict shoving her tits in your face, and smiling at you showing off her last 2 remaining teeth?.... Damn that's hot... Anyway, starting at the Moose lodge, then who knows where we will end up. All I know is theres a bottle of moonshine at my house to start, then its away we go!!!

Saturday- First thing is to go to the gym in the morning. Then its off to fix the Mustang, and build an Octopong table. For those that don't know what that is, its a massive beer pong table with 8 sides. You can play 4 games at once on this with more cups and teams then ever before... Pictures to come later.

Sunday- Recovery day....

Well, that's all for now! I hope everyone has a great weekend planned!

What?!?!?!

Happy Thursday All!

Today started off bad, so I am going to keep this short. Started off with my alarm going off at 3am for the gym, decided I was going to get a little more sleep since I have Physical Therapy tonight anyway.

Then I overslept.... Finally got my butt in gear and realized I needed to stop for gas. Good thing I make my own hours at work, or I would have been late. Lol

Get to work, and I my code for the alarm won't work... I finally get the alarm to stop, and now I am waiting on the police to get here... I'm glad I wasn't really getting robbed, its been 30 minutes already and they still aren't here. I guess driving across the street interferes with doughnuts and coffee time... I'm serious, they are literally a block away. Oh well....

Well, that's all I have, I hope everyone has a great day. I know mine can only get better.

 

Bacon

Happy Hump Day All!!! Getting ever so close to yet another weekend! Anything fun and exciting planned? I think I may finally be fixing my Mustang, so that I'm not dropping $100 a tank in fuel. Hopefully my knee will hold up while I am driving it. I haven't driven her since a few weeks before my surgery.

Well, today marks my 9th full year in the Army. Man, time does fly by! Can you believe I have been back in full a full year already? Maybe soon they will be able to get me all of my uniforms and gear. Thank you budget cuts for screwing soldiers so much that we can't even prepare for war. I'll leave that alone though because my mouth could definitely get me in trouble on that one....

As most people already know, my favorite food ever is bacon... I can seriously eat that stuff on anything. If I wasn't on a constant diet, I seriously would find a way to incorporate it into every meal... Obsessed? Maybe... But who can say something bad about bacon. You can't even make it wrong. Even if its burnt, it still takes like bacon! lol... I've tried the turkey bacon, and even though it is decent, I still feel like I'm cheating myself...

Well, that's all I have for today! I hope everyone has a great day!!!

Decisions

Happy Tuesday All! Well, it doesn't sound as good as Happy Friday, but at least its not Monday!

Well, A year ago today I was heading up to the MEPS station to spend the night. Tomorrow will be a full year into my second tour with the Army (9 years total). My only problem is that this time last year, I knew exactly what I wanted to do, and what direction I wanted to head in. This year, I have no clue on what to do. I know what I would like to do, but this whole knee thing has sent me in a tornado full of thoughts.

At some point in my life I have to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.... Oh wait, no I don't. I seem to be doing pretty damn good with what I'm doing. Good Job, House, 2 vehicles... and fairly happy... Now I just need to figure out what my next step is. It could be a big one, or it could just be a small one... We'll just have to see.

Well, that's enough of my rambling for today! Went to the gym at 1am this morning because I couldn't sleep... I should sleep much better tonight though!

Have a great one all!

Promotion?

Happy Monday All!!!!!!! Well, we have to be excited that we all made it through yet another weekend, hopefully in one piece. My weekend was fairly relaxing.... Here it is:

Friday- Went to the bar, to pick up moonshine, Went home for pizza and drinking, went to sleep...

Saturday- Went to the commissary and PX. Did laundry. Went out to dinner at Hempen Hill BBQ (Awesome place, go check it out), went home, drank a little, watched a movie, went to bed.

Sunday- Woke up early and went to the gym. got home and cleaned, then me and the roommate decided to go test the knee out at the driving range. It didn't feel too bad, then we went out to the golf course to hit 9 holes. I didn't do absolutely horrible, for not playing for 2 years. Its a little sore today, and I am going to need some more ice this evening, but it is well worth it. Got home around 3 and since my phone stopped working (don't worry, it later came back to life around midnight and scared the shit out of me), I took a nap, watched some TV, then crashed out early.

Well, that was my weekend. I am hoping today to find out whether or not my packet made it through the board so maybe I can get promoted finally in the Army.

I hope everyone has a great week!!!

FRIDAY!!!!

Well, Happy Friday all! We all made it through a hell of a week!

Lots planned for this weekend, lots of fun and relaxation. So I was looking for a safety brief for today, and I found this hilarious gem... This is a little long, but well worth the read! (Found on: http://www.cafemom.com/group/416/forums/read/10325172/Funny_Military_stuff_Really_Long_but_once_you_start_you_wont_be_able_to_stop

SGT Shawn StanfordOnce upon a time, there was a SPC Schwarz stationed with the Army in the Balkans. SPC Schwarz was either very clever or very bored; but probably both, since he managed to attempt or be warned about 213 things he wasn't allowed to do. He collected those things into a hillarious list and posted them to the web. The site hadn't been updated in a couple of years and has since gone away; but the list is classic, so I saved it. A couple favorites: 2. My proper military title is 'Specialist Schwarz' not 'Princess Anastasia'. and 191. Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot.

1. Not allowed to watch Southpark when I'm supposed to be working.
2. My proper military title is 'Specialist Schwarz' not 'Princess Anastasia'.
3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.
4. Not allowed to challenge anyone's disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.
5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.
6. Not allowed to play 'Pulp Fiction' with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.
7. Not allowed to add 'In accordance with the prophesy' to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.
8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don't like to War Criminal posters.
9. Not allowed to title any product 'Get Over it'.
10. Not allowed to purchase anyone's soul on Government time.
11. Not allowed to join the communist party.
12. Not allowed to join any militia.
13. Not allowed to form any militia.
14. Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Sarajevo.
15. Not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to 'Sic Brass!'
16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my 'Sampson like powers'.
17. God may not contradict any of my orders.
18. May no longer perform my now (in)famous 'Barbie Girl Dance' while on duty.
19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I'm right.
20. Must not taunt the French any more.
21. Must attempt to not antagonize SAS.
22. Must never call an SAS a 'Wanker'.
23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they've been smoking crack.
24. Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if it's true.
25. Never confuse a Dutch soldier for a French one.
26. Never tell a German soldier that 'We kicked your ass in World War 2!'
27. Don't tell Princess Di jokes in front of the paras (British Airborne).
28. Don't take the batteries out of the other soldiers alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times).
29. The Irish MPs are not after 'Me frosted lucky charms'.
30. Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.
31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.
32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.
33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.
35. Not allowed to sing 'High Speed Dirt' by Megadeth during airborne operations. ('See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I'm off to meet my maker')
36. Can't have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isn't over).
37. Our medic is called 'Sgt Larwasa', not 'Dr. Feelgood'.
38. Our supply Sgt is 'Sgt Watkins' not 'Sugar Daddy'.
39. Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.
40. I do not have super-powers.
41. 'Keep on Trucking' is *not* a psychological warfare message.
42. Not allowed to attempt to appeal to mankind's baser instincts in recruitment posters.
43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.
44. I am not the atheist chaplain.
45. I am not allowed to 'Go to Bragg boulevard and shake daddies little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undies'.
46. I am not authorized to fire officers.
47. I am not a citizen of Texas, and those other, forty-nine, lesser states.
48. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.
49. Not allowed to trade military equipment for 'magic beans'.
50. Not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours.
51. Not allowed to quote 'Dr Seuss' on military operations.
52. Not allowed to yell 'Take that Cobra' at the rifle range.
53. Not allowed to quote 'Full Metal Jacket ' at the rifle range.
54. 'Napalm sticks to kids' is *not* a motivational phrase.
55. An order to 'Put Kiwi on my boots' does *not* involve fruit.
56. An order to 'Make my Boots black and shiny' does not involve electrical tape.
57. The proper response to a lawful order is not 'Why?'
58. The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we've all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.
59. May not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my chain of command.
60. ‘The Giant Space Ants' are not at the top of my chain of command.
61. If one soldier has a 2nd Lt bar on his uniform, and I have an E-4 on mine It means he outranks me. It does not mean ‘I have been promoted three more times than you'.
62. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz.
63. Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority.
64. Inflatable novelties do *not* entitle me to BAQ or Separation pay.
65. There are no evil clowns living under my bed.
66. There is no ‘Anti-Mime' campaign in Bosnia.
67. I am not the Psychological Warfare Mascot.
68. I may not line my helmet with tin foil to ‘Block out the space mind control lasers'.
69. May not pretend to be a fascist stormtrooper, while on duty.
70. I am not authorized to prescribe any form of medication.
71. I must not flaunt my deviance in front of my chain of command.
72. May not wear gimp mask while on duty.
73. No military functions are to be performed ‘Skyclad'.
74. Woad is not camouflage makeup.
75. May not conduct psychological experiments on my chain of command.
76. "Teddy Bear, Teddy bear, turn around" is *not* a cadence.
77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."
78. I may not call block my chain of command.
79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese.
80. Not allowed to wear a dress to any army functions.
81. May not bring a drag queen to the battalion formal dance.
82. May not form any press gangs.
83. Must not start any SITREP (Situation Report) with "I recently had an experience I just had to write you about...."
84. Must not use military vehicles to ‘Squish' things.
85. Not allowed to make any Psychological Warfare products depicting the infamous Ft. Bragg sniper incident.
86. May not challenge anyone in my chain of command to the ‘field of honor'.
87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
88. Must not refer to 1st Sgt as ‘Mom'.
89. Must not refer to the Commander as ‘Dad'.
90. Inflatable sheep do *not* need to be displayed during a room inspection.
91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad.
92. When asked to give a few words at a military ceremony ‘Romper Bomper Stomper Boo' is probably not appropriate.
93. Nerve gas is not funny.
94. Crucifixes do not ward off officers, and I should not test that.
95. I am not in need of a more suitable host body.
96. ‘Redneck Zombies' is not a military training aid.
97. Gozer does not dwell in my refrigerator.
98. The proper response to a chemical weapon attack is not ‘Tell my chain of command what I really think about them, and then poke holes in their masks.'
99. A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield.
100. Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are.
101. I am not allowed to mount a bayonet on a crew-served weapon.
102. Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are "casualties of war".
103. My commander is not old enough to have fought in the civil war, and I should stop implying that he did.
104. Vodka, green food coloring, and a ‘Cool Mint' Listerine® bottle is not a good combination.
105. I am not allowed to bum cigarettes off of anyone under twelve.
106. I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Kalishnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CD's.
107. Must not mock command decisions in front of the press.
108. Should not taunt members of the press, even if they are really fat, exceptionally stupid, and working for UPI.
109. I am not authorized to change national policy in Eastern Europe.
110. Never, ever, attempt to correct a Green Beret officer about anything.
111. I am not qualified to operate any US, German, Polish, or Russian Armored vehicles.
112. When saluting a ‘leg' officer, an appropriate greeting is not "Airborne leads the wa- oh...sorry sir".
113. There is absolutely no need to emulate the people from ‘Full Monty' every time I hear the song "Hot Stuff".
114. I cannot trade my CO to the Russians.
115. I should not speculate on the penis size of anyone who outranks me.
116. Crucifying mice - bad idea.
117. Must not use government equipment to bootleg pornography.
118. Burn pits for classified material are not revel fires - therefore it is wrong to dance naked around them.
119. I cannot arrest children for being rude.
120. An EO briefing is probably not the best place to unveil my newest off color joke.
121. I should not use government resources to ‘waterproof' dirty magazines.
122. Radioactive material should not be stored in the barracks.
123. I should not teach other soldiers to say offensive and crude things in Albanian, under the guise of teaching them how to say potentially useful phrases.
124. Two drink limit does not mean first and last.
125. Two drink limit does not mean two kinds of drinks.
126. Two drink limit does not mean the drinks can be as large as I like.
127. ‘No Drinking Of Alcoholic Beverages' does not imply that a Jack Daniel's ® IV is acceptable.
128. "Shpadoinkle" is not a real word.
129. The Microsoft ® ‘Dancing Paperclip' is not authorized to countermand any orders.
130. ‘I'm drunk' is a bad answer to any question posed by my commander.
131. No dancing in the turret. This especially applies in conjunction with rule #113.
132. The loudspeaker system is not a forum to voice my ideas.
133. The loudspeaker system is not to be used to replace the radio.
134. The loudspeaker system is not to be used to broadcast the soundtrack to a porno movie.
135. An order to put polish on my boots means the whole boot.
136. Shouting ‘Let's do the village! Let's do the whole fucking village!' while out on a mission is bad.
137. Should not show up at the front gate wearing part of a Russian uniform, messily drunk.
138. Even if my commander did it.
139. Must not teach interpreters how to make "MRE" bombs.
140. I am not authorized to sell mineral rights.
141. Not allowed to use a broadsword to disprove ‘The Pen is Mightier than the sword'.
142. 'Calvin-Ball' is not authorized PT.
143. I do not need to keep a 'range card' by my window.
144. 'K-Pot, LBE, and a thin coat of Break-free' is not an authorized uniform.
145. I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.
146. Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.
147. I should not threaten suicide with pop rocks and Coke ®.
148. Putting red 'Mike and Ike's' ® into a prescription medicine bottle, and then eating them all in a formation is not funny.
149. Must not create new DOD forms, then insist they be filled out.
150. On Sports Day PT, a wedgie is not considered a legal tackle.
151. The proper way to report to my Commander is 'Specialist Schwarz, reporting as ordered, Sir' not 'You can't prove a thing!'
152. The following items do not exist: Keys to the Drop Zone, A box of grid squares, blinker fluid, winter air for tires, canopy lights, or Chem-Light ® batteries.
153. I should not assign new privates to 'guard the flight line'.
154. Shouldn't treat 'piss-bottles' with extra-strength icy hot.
155. Teaching Albanian children to taunt other soldiers is not nice.
156. I will no longer perform 'lap-dances' while in uniform.
157. If I take the uniform off, in the course of the lap-dance, it still counts.
158. The revolution is not now.
159. When detained by MP's, I do not have a right to a strip search.
160. No part of the military uniform is edible.
161. Body checking General officers is not a good idea.
162. Past lives have absolutely no effect on the chain of command.
163. Take that hat off.
164. There is no such thing as a were-virgin.
165. I do not get 'that time of month'.
166. No, the pants are not optional.
167. Not allowed to operate a business out of the barracks.
168. Especially not a pornographic movie studio.
169. Not even if they *are* 'especially patriotic films'
170. Not allowed to 'defect' to OPFOR during training missions.
171. On training missions, try not to shoot down the Generals helicopter.
172. 'A full magazine and some privacy' is not the way to help a potential suicide.
173. I am not allowed to create new levels of security clearance.
174. Furby ® is not allowed into classified areas. (I swear to the gods, I did not make that up, it's actually DOD policy).
175. We do not 'charge into battle, naked, like the Celts'.
176. Any device that can crawl across the table on medium, does not need to be brought into the office.
177. I am not to refer to a formation as 'the boxy rectangle thingie'.
178. I am not 'A lesbian trapped in a man's body'.
179. On Army documents, my race is not 'Other'.
180. Nor is it 'Secretariat, in the third'.
181. Pokémon® trainer is not an MOS.
182. There is no FM for 'wall-to-wall counseling'.
183. My chain of command has neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Fruit Roll-Ups. ®
184. When operating a military vehicle I may *not* attempt something 'I saw in a cartoon'.
185. My name is not a killing word.
186. I am not the Emperor of anything.
187. Must not taunt officers in the throes of nicotine withdrawal, with cigarettes.
188. May not challenge officers to 'Meet me on the field of honor, at dawn'.
189. Do not dare SERE graduates to eat bugs. They will always do it.
190. Must not make s'mores while on guard duty.
191. Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot.
192. The proper response to a briefing is not 'That's what you think'.
193. The Masons, and Gray Aliens are not in our chain of command.
194. Shouldn't take incriminating photos of my chain of command.
195. Shouldn't use Photoshop ® to create incriminating photos of my chain of command.
196. I am not allowed to give tattoos.
197. I am not allowed to sing 'Henry the VIII I am' until verse 68 ever again.
198. Not allowed to lead a 'Coup' during training missions.
199. I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born.
200. My chain of command is not interested in why I 'just happen' to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car.
201. Must not valiantly push officers onto hand grenades to save the squad.
202. Despite the confusing similarity in the names, the "Safety Dance" and the "Safety Briefing" are never to be combined.
203. 'To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is a bad long term goal to give the re-enlistment NCO.
204. NEVER nail a stuffed bunny to a cross and put it up in front of the Battalion Headquarters sign as an "Easter Desecration."
205. Don't write up false gigs on a HMMWV PMCS. ("Broken clutch pedal", "Number three turbine has frequent flame-outs", "flux capacitor emits loud whine when engaged")
206. Not allowed to get shot.
207. The Chicken and Rice MRE is *not* a personal lubricant. (Skippy wanted this noted for the record that this is not something he has ever attempted or considered! It was something we heard at dinner on 22 September 2001 and it was just so obscene it had to go here.)
208. Not allowed to play into the deluded fantasies of the civilians who are "hearing conversations" from the NSA, FBI, CIA and KGB due to the microchip the aliens implanted in their brain.
209. An airsickness bag is to be used for airsickness *only*. (Also not a Skippy-ism...this was the same dinner.)
210. Must not make T-shirts up depicting a pig with the writing "Eat Pork or Die" in Arabic to bring as civilian attire when preparing to deploy to a primarily Muslim country.
211. Don't ask LTC Steele to sign my copy of Blackhawk Down.
212. Must not go on nine deployments in six years that require a security clearance that I don't have, even if the Army tells me repeatedly that I have one and I have no reason to question them.
213. Do not convince NCO's that their razorbumps are the result of microscopic parasites.

HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED!!! Have a great weekend!

 

Decisions

Well Happy Thursday All!!! I hope everyone is preparing themselves for the upcoming weekend. I know mine is busy! No time to relax, but its OK, good times with good people.

Well, I am getting close to a decision that may completely turn my life upside down. However, it can't happen until my knee gets better. Not saying what it is yet, because I don't want to jinx myself. Just know, that it will take a lot of hard work, determination, and self sacrifice. Which, if you ask me, I have all of!

Well, short one today. Lots on my mind, but lots of planning that still needs to be done.

"Pushing Me Away"
by Linkin Park

I've lied to you
The same way that I always do
This is the last smile
That I'll fake for the sake of being with you

(Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown
Eventually break down)
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
(Everything has to end
You'll soon find we're out of time left
To watch it all unwind)
The sacrifice is never knowing

Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away

I've tried like you
To do everything you wanted too
This is the last time
I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you

(Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown
Eventually break down)
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
(Everything has to end
You'll soon find we're out of time left
To watch it all unwind)
The sacrifice is never knowing

Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me pushes me away
(We're all out of time
This is how we find how it all unwinds)
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
(We're all out of time
This is how we find how it all unwinds)
The sacrifice is never knowing
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me pushes me away
Pushes me away

 

Hump Day Again!!!

Happy Wednesday all! Well, I got a little bit of sleep last night but still not enough. I was up bright and early for the gym again, and I will be back there after work. Can we say determination?!?!

Speaking of determination, how do you get your motivation to do anything? I get it all from myself. I mean, if I don't have the want to get up and make myself better, then why should anyone bother with me? Yes, I like everyone else have my lazy days, but I push through them. That’s why I can get to the gym 6 days a week, with double sessions most of the days. Basically, I kick ass!

Ok, So, it’s time for some more truths about Sam....

- If somebody tells me I am going to do something, there is a 99% chance that it isn't going to happen. I don't like to be pushed to do anything. However, if you ask nicely, there is a 75% chance I will.

- I am perfectly happy with my life right now. Don't get me wrong, there are things I would like, but I make myself happy in all of my situations.

- I hate liars... Seriously... If it was legal, I would beat every single one of them in the face with a shovel. Come on now, I'm a big boy, I can handle the truth...

- My favorite color is blue..... Nobody ever believes me when I tell them this because I tend to buy cars that are very bright in color (Solar Yellow, and Grabber Orange, to name a couple). Honestly, I just do that to be able to find it easier in a parking lot.

- The only part about my job I don't like is the commute. 50 miles each way wears you down after a while, especially when the drive can take anywhere from 1-3 hours.

- I love moonshine

Well, That’s all for today! I hope everyone has a great day! I'll be back again tomorrow!

Sleepy...

Happy, Happy Tuesday All! Whats so happy about it? Well, you woke up didn't you?

Well, my life is at about the same spot as always. I'm exhausted, both physically and mentally. So tired today that I am having a battle with writers block. I fell asleep on my couch last night at around 6, woke up at about 8, then couldn't fall back asleep until about 11. Thank god for shark week on the discovery channel. If you add it all up, yes, I got 6 hours of sleep. However, I am hoping to get much more after Physical Therapy tonight.

Withing the next week or two, I should know whether or not I am getting promoted in the Army. Hopefully, its sooner rather then later.

Well, i really don't have much today! i hope everyone has a great one!


"Tears Don't Fall"
By Bullet For My Valentine

Let's go!

With blood shot eyes I watch you sleeping
The warmth I feel beside me is slowly fading
Would she hear me if I called her name?
Would she hold me if she knew my shame?

There's always something different going wrong
The path I walks in the wrong direction
There's always someone fucking hanging on
Can anybody help me make things better?

Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscience calls, the guilty to come home
Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscience calls, the guilty to come home

The moments die, I hear no screaming
The visions left inside me are slowly fading
Would she hear me if I called her name?
Would she hold me if she knew my shame?

There's always something different going wrong
The path I walks in the wrong direction
There's always someone fucking hanging on
Can anybody help me make things better?

Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscience calls, the guilty to come home
Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscience calls, the guilty to come home

Oh yeah

This battered room I've seen before
The broken bones they heal no more, no more
With my last breath I'm choking
Will this ever end? I'm hoping
My world is over one more time

Let's go!

Would she hear me if I called her name?
Would she hold me if she knew my shame?

There's always something different going wrong
The path I walks in the wrong direction
There's always someone fucking hanging on
Can anybody help me make things better?

Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscience calls, the guilty to come home
Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscience calls, the guilty to come

Better!

Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscience calls, the guilty to come home

 

Blah

Happy Monday All! Well, I hope everyone had a great weekend! Mine was OK, another weekend spent in green. Some good things, some bad things, and some things that just won't be mentioned. Well, here it is, a snapshot of what went on:

Friday- Work, then went to the PX on the way home. Got home, had my roommate cut my hair, dinner, movie, then sleep.

Saturday- Up for the army, and down in Martinsburg by 0700. Classes all day, including our annual SHARP training (Sexual Harassment). Fun stuff. Then I went to the Chinese buffet for some sushi, and home for some rest and ice for the knee. Passed out really early because of the mission I knew we had on Sunday.

Sunday- Get to the Reserve center at 0700 again. The mission was to drive our truck to Romney, WV, drop a flat rack, then get back in time for lunch. So we get up to Romney around 0930. Have a chat with some people, then it is determined that we need to bring the rack to Morgantown, WV (2 more hours on the road). OK, so we get there at 1215.... Every ones at lunch... We wait. Drop the rack at about 1300, so we can get back home and maybe get to go home. Well, on the way home, I almost had a semi hit me in a construction zone, so I jacked the truck to the right and took out the passenger side mirror. Scared the shit out of my Sgt. Good Times lol. Truck and soldiers are fine, No word back from the sign yet, but its being reported as a casualty. Get back to Martingsburg at 1700, finish paperwork and Army stuff, then it way time to leave. Left at 1900. Got home, ate dinner, watched a little football, then went to bad.

Well, that was my weekend. Not too bad, not really relaxing, but I'll take it! I hope everyone had a great weekend!

Weekend Time! Well, Sort Of

Happy Friday All!!!! Woo Hoo, We have made it though yet another week!

What are your plans this weekend? Anything good? I'm going to be hanging out with a bunch of people dressed in camouflage. Jealous yet? Best part is, I get paid for it! See theres a bright side to every situation. I love what I do, but we need to change things up a little. Plus with my knee being still messed up, I am sort of limited to what I can do. Maybe the rest of my uniforms and equipment will be there. I've only been waiting a year now. I'm not complaining, just tired of buying all my own equipment that's all.

I need a vacation, and bad. I'm not saying my month off from work was appreciated, I'm just saying I need to get out of town! I'm a beach guy, and I haven't really been there this year. I don't count the day I spent there in June, There was more driving than beach time. I need a full week. No kids, lots of sand, some fishing, and some beer. Complete relaxation. Me and the water. Ahhhhh, Maybe I just need to be stranded on a deserted island. I can fish, so I'll make do.

OK, that's all I have for today! I hope everyone enjoys their weekend! Don't forget to send some love this way, so that I know people are still reading! Lol

Thursday 8/1/13

No Snappy title? Nothing but a date?

Yup, No brain power today all! I can't even think of what to write about. So please excuse me for a few seconds, so that I can write down whatever happens to pop into my mind... Ready, here we go, in no particular order:

-Happy Thursday

-It sure would be nice if the rain would stop. Not that I mind a little wetness in my life, but this is getting semi ridiculous.

-Wheres the warm temperature? In the 80's and its August? Come on, I want some heat! Windows down, BBQing until you sweat your balls off type heat!

-I have had a lot of fake friends in my life. Some that only want something in return, but don't want to ever help you out when you are in need. These are the type that will stab you in the back, and not think twice about it. The type that don't even text unless their world is falling apart around them. The type that if you need anything will run, not walk, as far away as possible.... Well, Screw you.....

-Drill this weekend (YAY ARMY! <---sarcasm), Should be a whole lot of classes, and training, and hopefully we get a few soldiers to show up. I really do love putting the uniform on, don't get me wrong, but it really isn't like it used to be. Send me out to the field for a weekend. Lets go do some real time training in Letterkenny. Something?

-I finally got a good nights sleep last night.

-Physical Therapy tonight.... I would seriously pay the co-pay just to get the electric stim and ice, but the rest of the stuff will make me feel better too.

OK, that's enough of picking my brain for now... As you all know, nothing ever comes out of there in any type of order! Have a great one all!